And yet, they do not stop…

She is selfish.  She is constantly hiking, biking, snowboarding, rock climbing, backpacking, and camping her cold, black heart out.  He deserves a better wife.  A more nurturing wife that will give him an hour when all she can spare is a minute.  

They take separate vacations and some wonder if there is something wrong.  You see photos of her in Utah, while you see photos of him in New York simultaneously.  People ask questions to which she replies, nonchalantly, “Oh, he isn’t into hiking.”  Then she goes off into the backcountry to forget about their questions, their insinuations, and sometimes, even forgets about him.  She is of a single, simple thought: herself.

She feels guilty  when she’s been off adventuring all day and doesn’t call him.  She is a bitch.  She knows after years of marriage, his passion lies elsewhere now and his lack of interest impedes him from accompanying her after he has introduced her to pursuits she has grown to love so much.    So, she plans.  Plans the next adventure she will partake of in the next few months. She does not stop.


He is selfish.  He approaches her about his next away game.  She has just returned home from being out of town for three weeks, but there is a game this weekend three hours away.  She never says no.  She spurs him on and knows this is what sets him free.  He feels ashamed for leaving when she hasn’t been home for even 24 hours.  He is a dick.  He misses the time when she used to play with a kamikaze-like recklesness.  How she would coyly ask him to “chrono” her marker, but then raise hell like the best of them on the field.

His ultimate passion now is playing paintball.  This isn’t a child’s play of helter skelter shoot and spray.  The planned attacks, the allotment of ammunition, and the high of victory makes his bones buzz.  His reward  is the camaraderie of other warriors on a field of tactical pursuits and the brotherhood of man.  He is a king here and his kingdom lies before him.

So, he plays.  As often as he can, whenever he can.  Leaving her in the shadow of the doorway, knowing he will see her tonight or possibly tomorrow.  However, she may be on a plane to another state for another three weeks tomorrow.  He does not stop.


She knows he wants to attend a game in California and she starts to pull her resources together.  She basically offers him carte blanche.  She concedes to buying him the gear he needs with obliging adoration.  She watches his GoPro sessions and attends games, when she can, in order to spend time with him.  She waits patiently, as he attends to his comrades, for him to return.  He is her rock.  She leans on him even when he thinks she’s too independent to lean on anyone.  One day, she will play by the side of him.


He shares her silly blog posts on Facebook.  She talks to him about going to Peru, without him, and he encourages her to go.  He wants her to live her dreams.    He buys her things she would never buy for herself because he feels she deserves it.  He holds his tongue, as tenderly as she holds his heart.


LOVE … is always … HOME … WAITING … for us.




Author’s note:  Thank you for taking the time to read this.  This is definitely not my normal style of writing, as you can surmise from my other blogs.  I wanted to communicate how sometimes it’s very stressful when a couple loves each other, but no longer share the same interests.  This is an over-exaggerated reflection of our relationship, but the support we have for each other can’t be more true.  How do you make things work when your partner doesn’t share the same interest as you?  I would love to hear your stories!

Much love and Aloha,

your in love clueless wanderer



11 thoughts on “And yet, they do not stop…

  1. Oh, I absolutely love this!! You are one of the most strong, loving, and caring people I know and while I’ve never met your hubs, I know he must be the same. I’m inspired by your independence and also your ability to make things work and do it well.
    You’re amazing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Love this! I can relate in some ways, my hubby just doesn’t have the time anymore to adventure with me during the week due to work. When the weekend rolls around, he’s either working again or to tired to do anything so I get out on my own and he is always supportive, encourages me and worries about me but would never say no, don’t go. Thanks so much for sharing, I may have to write a post about this myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love this. It is especially fitting as I have just ventured into a relationship and warned that my wanderlust will need to be satisfied and I will go no matter what. We will see how this relationship progresses. It’s nice to know other couples can support each other in this fashion.

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  4. Pingback: It’s like riding a bike, only with ammo! | the clueless wanderer blog

  5. I love the honesty. 8 years ago a beautiful older mentor whom I love asked me, “Why do you hike so much?, aka, “Why do you leave the house so much?” She was very loving and sweet, but the truth is 21 years of marriage and living under the roof with four teenagers is enough to cause any woman to run for the hills! I discovered my sanity was in the foothills and mountains around my home. I loved my family dearly, but the mountains gave me strength. My sweet, amazing, supportive husband let me go every Saturday many times from 3 a.m. until 11;00 p.m. and then helped me recover the next day. He missed me, but he hated hiking. He would try a few times, but it just wasn’t for him.

    Just over two years ago I had a hair-brained idea that I was going to hike the John Muir Trail through the Sierra Nevada Mountains. It was a 211-mile trail that I figured I could hike in 14 days. Mind you I had 2 nights of backpacking experience in my life at the time. But I was determined. As I started planning, I could see him caving bit by bit. Whether it was the protector in him, the FOMO that would come from not joining me, or the unappealing idea of staying alone for what would turn out to be a 3-week excursion, my dear sweet hubby joined me, and it was the best thing we ever did together. Now we’re back to real life and I have a hard time getting him off the couch, but I can SO relate to this post. He’s letting me hike the Inca Trail with friends this fall. He might fly home to see his family. But we’re 29 years married and going strong. When you love someone unconditionally and whole-heartedly, you figure it out!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Your reply is epitomizes so many women! I love this. We have so many responsibilities and sometimes our dreams and goals are being constantly put aside. The important thing is to never forget who you are and I’m so happy that you’ll be hiking the Inca Trail and that your husband supports you fully. Thank you so much for sharing your world. ❤️


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